Waiting for True Love

by Kristin Yarbrough

His hands moved up her back; his lips caressed her neck. True love waits. This isn't love, Alex thought, but it feels good. Yeah, true love waits, but waits for how long? How much? As long as she didn't go all the way, right? She broke away from him and glanced at her ring and whispered the inscription, "True love waits." I wonder if my true love is waiting for me...

Through various slogans and discussions, the female population has been taught to wait for true love. But wait for what? Wait to date? For a kiss? For sex? Well, I offer you this insight, as a college girl who has had her heart broken many a time and is currently waiting for true love.

Let's start with something "simple": dating. Personally, I think, girls shouldn't start dating until they're emotionally ready, which varies with the individual. Society creates too much hype about the importance of having a boyfriend. I swear we've got it all wrong. In junior high, a couple didn't actually go anywhere, but we called it "going out". In high school, two people like each other and then are considered an "item" and dating. But does anyone really date anymore? If you were to time warp to our parent's generation, you'd find that dating meant taking more than one person out and then "go steady" with someone that you liked more than the restof the people you've dated. Today it seems like we have it backwards. Most of the people I've observed become a couple before actually dating. Sadly, this leaves young women lost in the world of men that actually want to date (more than one person at a time) without having a serious relationship.

My suggestion is this: get to know yourself first. You can't ever dump yourself! You'll always be there! Once you've taken care of yourself, get to know the people you're interested in. From there, take it easy. Be open with the person of your attention and be honest about your dating views.

Next, if you date, set boundaries. Here's one way to set boundaries (Read before actually trying it!) Close your eyes and picture the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Don't give him a name or a face, just imagine his shadows. Imagine that it's your wedding night. He turns to you and smiles. He leans in close and whispers ever so gently, "Honey, after knowing you for ______ years, I've finally fallen in love with you and have promised to share the rest of my life with you. I've waited for you since I can remember. The only thing I've ever done is...." Is? I don't want an is! I want it to stop at "remember". Okay, highly unlikely, but hey, that's my fantasy! Here's your job: take what you filled in at the end. If you feel truly comfortable knowing that your potential mate has been that intimate with someone else, rather than waiting for you, then that is where your
boundary line lies. Just remember, you may be okay with his experience, but he may not be comfortable with yours.

Romance and love is special--make it special. Why waste all those glances, poems, smiles, and kisses on just anybody? Waiting for someone special, especially for true love, shows that you value the next person you date so much that you considered your relationship before you even met. What if a guy did that for you? Wouldn't that just make you get that "aw-gee" look on your face? So from me to you, dear reader, please remember, "True love waits… for marriage"; we're all worth waiting for!

Dec '01/Feb '02